It's Time to Find a Marriage-Minded Man You Can Trust

On this Single Over 30 podcast, I'm sharing super practical tips you can use while online dating to be more successful and improve your opportunities to find that trustworthy, marriage-minded man. Plus, I share about how you can register for my free, 5-day Online Dating Challenge that starts tonight, Feb. 22!

From the time you’re in elementary school and you hope that that special boy will put a Valentine in your box, to when you’re 30, 40, 50, or 60 and you’re dating, being emotionally vulnerable can feel frightening. 

Last week, I had free, one-on-one coaching sessions with three lovely women: One in her 60s; one in her 50s; and one in her 40s. And, although they didn’t say, “Love is scary” I knew that they feel that it is. How do I know? 

Because they reject themselves before a man can reject them. 

Here’s what this looks like:

• A man smiles at you in the grocery store. He’s handsome. Tall. You blush, look down, and tell yourself, “He wouldn’t be interested in someone like me” so you walk away without even starting a conversation.

• A man tells your cousin he’d like to get to know you better. You think, “If he got to know me, then he...

Having a special guest is always fun--and today's episode is especially fun because my husband is joining me to share his side of the story about how we met, and I share mine. And, we share lessons we learned about dating and having a solid relationship during our relationship journey. I hope you are encouraged! For one-on-one coaching, visit  ShanaSchutteCoaching.com

The Smart Woman’s Guide to Ghosting – Part 1, I shared about how to embrace some important mindset shifts that can help you overcome the painful emotions that can result from getting ghosted, particularly while online dating. 

Getting your mindset right about ghosting is very important because it can help so you don’t beat yourself up, or make promises to yourself to never date again or get online again. It can also help so you don’t shut your heart down or believe you are undesirable. So, if you haven’t checked out Part 1 of this series, I invite you to do so. 

Okay, so let’s get started with 10 reasons men ghost women.

1) The trouble of emotional discomfort

The first—and #1—reason men ghost women is because they are avoiding the emotional discomfort of saying no or telling a woman they...

When you hear the word “ghosting,” does it make you want to vow to never online date again? I have five tips to share in this first part of a two-part series that I'm calling “The Smart Woman's Guide to Ghosting.” 

Unfortunately, ghosting has become commonplace. Therefore, if you want to date online and you want to be purposeful about finding a trustworthy, marriage-minded man, then you need to know how to deal with it. 

In this post, I want to share about how to get the right mindset about ghosting so you can think about it in liberating ways. Then, if it does happen to you, you won’t get discouraged. 

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Shift Your Perspective

My first tip is to shift your perspective about yourself by not internalizing ghosting or taking it personally. I know this can be difficult, especially if you have an anxious personality or anxious attachment style since you may tend to elevate everybody else above yourself....

[Clark] I'm going to propose to you again. 

[Shana] Oh yes. That would be lovely. We've talked about how we'd like to redo our vows and redo the day. We just recently had lunch together and I asked you, “What is a happy memory that you would like to repeat?” And you said, “The day that we got married.” 

[Clark] Yeah, that was a great day. 

[Shana] I'm so glad that Clark—this is my husband, Clark—decided to join me because he's going to give us the inside scoop on men.

[Clark] <laugh> How long is your podcast?

[Shana] Does that mean it will be short or long?  

[Clark] Probably pretty short. Men aren’t that complicated. <laugh> Women...

I once chatted with a 36-year-old man on the Internet who asked if I would like to see his requirements for a mate and marriage. “Sure‚” I typed. “Send them over.” His request was curious, but I was amused when I received his list for the perfect wife.

His criteria for marriage were included in approximately eight e-mails with three to four attachments each. He’d also written an essay describing his perfect mate. She must home school their children, be attractive, trim and of average height and weight, debt-free, never married, a virgin, she must never have had any venereal diseases and she must be able to give him “wild sex” whenever he asked. Most of all, she must be submissive.

Within minutes after reading his list, my “abusive man” detector started blinking wildly. But just to make sure that my suspicions were correct, I asked him a few questions.

I discovered that he grew up in a home with an overbearing...

Maybe you can relate. You want next year to be different. You want to find a trustworthy, marriage-minded man and you want to experience the kind of love you desire.

If this describes you, you are definitely in the right place because in this post, I’m going to share about getting in the right mindset to improve your opportunities to find a relationship.

FOR MORE ADVICE ABOUT FINDING A TRUSTWORTHY MARRIAGE-MINDED MAN, DOWNLOAD MY FREE SAFE TO LOVE WORKSHEET HERE

A Little Story From My Own Life

Over the last several years, I’ve been working on improving my eating habits. I never thought I would get stuck and unhealthy dieting patterns, trying this nutrition plan or this diet and that one, but that is exactly what has happened over the last several years—and I’ve always been feeling like I’ve been blowing it and...