It's Time to Find a Marriage-Minded Man You Can Trust

Oh boy! This Single Over 30 episode is all about a topic that I have personally experienced myself--and that many women I coach experience. 

You meet a man and you like him but there is that one thing that you just can’t see yourself compromising on. 

Still, you might be thinking, “If he would just change that ONE THING, then things would be great. We could have a great future together.” Or, he has that “ONE THING” and you’re wondering if you should accept it or hope that he will change--or try to get him to change. 

Today in this episode of the Single Over 30 podcast, my husband and I address those things that you shouldn’t hold out for a man to change because in the long run you are just going to end up unhappy, and perhaps even in a toxic relationship. 

And then, we’re going to talk about how to tell if he can or will change something that just isn’t working for...

Many women I coach wonder why some men aren't interested in committing to marriage.  There can be a lot of reasons–and it’s important to understand these reasons so you can identify that trustworthy marriage minded man. 

Some of the reasons a man won't commit are legitimate, and when you understand what these reasons are, it can help you identify if a man is ready to tie the knot and if he would be a good mate. 

So in this episode of the Single Over 30 podcast, I share a bunch-o reasons why some men won't commit to marriage. I know you'll find it helpful. 

Hey there, Single Lady!

Welcome, welcome to another episode of the Single Over 30 podcast episode! 

When I was single, I had a pattern I repeated several times: I allowed men into my life who weren't emotionally safe.

Why would I do such a thing? Well, there are lots of reasons, such as I didn't want to be judgmental, I didn't trust myself to make a good choice (because of a broken past relationship), and because I didn't know how to recognize a safe date.

If I did know how, I would have been more equipped to date well and avoid unproductive dating that wasn’t getting me anywhere close to the wedding altar. Plus that would have saved me tons of heartbreak.

Maybe you can relate. Be encouraged!

You don't have to shut down your heart out of self-protection or decide you'll never love again because you fear choosing the wrong mate. Instead, you can become equipped to choose well, and when you become equipped, you'll feel more empowered to make a good decision.

And...

Hey there, Single Lady!

Imagine this. . .

You've just met a guy, and you're on your first or second date and you think maybe he could be someone special. It seems like he has a lot of the qualities that you are looking for, but during your date he does something that turns you off—and maybe even makes you a little afraid . . . he mentions his ex.

And maybe he doesn't just mention her, but he says some unpleasant things about her. Is this a red flag? I answer that question in this Single Over 30 episode and give you some tips on what to do during your “he’s talking about her” date.

He’s showing growth and maturity

[2:01]

Is it a red flag that he goes on and on about his ex? This depends upon the context – his heart. You need discernment here to perceive the condition of his heart. If he’s taking accountability for shortcomings in his past relationship and mentions his growth, that is a good sign.

[3:04]

If he has a bitter spirit,...

Hi there, Single Lady!

In the last episode, I talked about how to tell if a man is emotionally available because that’s what many women want. (Maybe you can relate because that's what you want too.)

In this episode, we're digging a little deeper and talking about how to invite a man to become more emotionally available to you. It requires some practices that perhaps you haven't thought of. And, (good news!) my husband joins me to give us a little guidance. He's such a great sport!

Something important to keep in mind

[1:36]

So, you want a man who will not only commit to you but also talks to you about how he feels? Emotional availability is a great thing to want in a relationship because it’s what makes it rewarding, deep, and fun. Inviting a man to open up to you can be tricky because research shows that most men are emotionally unavailable and use fewer words every day.

Most men are not as emotionally connected to themselves and others as women are--even...

When I ask women, “What is the top trait that you want in a man?” many of them say they want a man who is emotionally available.

Maybe, like me, you’ve wondered, “What does that even mean?” Great question!

Emotional availability happens on a couple levels: It happens on the readiness level, meaning he is available and ready--to give his heart away and commit to a specific woman. That’s one type of emotional availability.

The second type of emotional availability happens on the communication level meaning that he can share his feelings and emotions with you. Not that he would be like your best girlfriend, able to talk for hours about his feelings as MOST men are not wired this way, but that he can—when needed—connect with his feelings and when he feels safe, share his feelings with you.

Desiring a man who is emotionally available on both the readiness and communication levels is a good thing—as it’s...

There are many modern dating and relationship terms floating around out there: flea bagging, catch and release, cushioning, gaslighting, and benching, just to name a few.

In this episode, we’re focusing on one common dating behavior: breadcrumbing.

If you wonder if you’re being breadcrumbed, if you’re curious if breadcrumbing has ever happened to you or if you wonder how to recognize it, check out this episode.

It’s empowering because it will help you truly weed out the men who are truly interested in you from the men who aren’t so you can attract that trustworthy, marriage-minded man.

Something important to remember.

[2:42]

You are not alone. If you’ve been breadcrumbed, it’s not about you. It doesn’t mean you’re not valuable or worthy of being loved. It doesn’t mean that you’re rejectable or that no man is ever going to want you.

In fact, breadcrumbing is a well-documented pattern of behavior.

...

Hey there Single Lady!

You meet a man online and you connect. The next thing you know, the conversation dies and he disappears. Why does it always seem that you have a hard time keeping the conversation going? Why do men disappear and what can you do about it? I answer those questions in this episode. I hope you are encouraged!

If you'd like to learn more about my proven, 4-step strategy that  I have used to help my clients attract quality men online who share their values (in 6 months or less without settling), just send me an email at [email protected] and let me know you'd like more info. I'll set up a free, 15-minute Discovery Call with you to see if we both think this strategy is a good fit for you.

Show Notes

[0:38]

Online communication has its share of troubles, right? One of the biggest problems is keeping the conversation going. You may ask a man questions, but he may not try to keep the verbal tennis game on. Why does this happen?

Online...

I answer that question in this episode.

Define Your Relationship Goals

[1:02]

A first step to decide if you want to hang out with a man or not is to clarify what you want. If you want to be married or be in a committed relationship, be honest with yourself. Write down what you want and ask yourself what you would like your relationship life to look like in in six, twelve, or eighteen months. 

[1:59]

If a man doesn’t want a relationship with you, why would you still be with him, especially if you want a man who wants to be committed? 

Are you being honest with yourself?

[2:20]

Ask yourself: Am I being honest? Sometimes even if we don’t want to just hang out with a man,...