[Part 5] How Fast is Too Fast? Trust Your Gut

Today, I want to share my last tip on how to make sure you’re not moving too fast in a relationship so you don’t sabotage your love life.

But to do that, I need to start with a story.

My husband and I recently went for a drive in the mountains, and while we meandered down winding roads, we talked about our lives before we married.

Before we said “I do,” I was blessed in many ways. I had a great career speaking and writing. I had several wonderful friends, and I was able to travel often.

But I also wrestled with a broken heart, the disappointment of not having children, and as I entered by forties, I struggled with a growing grief that I would never tie the knot.

I also believed the lie that I was incapable of making good relational choices, so I naturally feared choosing poorly. On the tail end of a bad breakup in my twenties, I stopped trusting myself when it came to romance.

When my husband asked me how that doubt manifested itself in my dating life, I thought about the poor decisions I made, including allowing a couple men to convince me to move faster than I wanted.

If you doubt yourself and believe the lie that you make bad relational decisions, it can cause big problems. Why?

Because it means you may allow men who move too fast in relationships make your choices for you. And THAT can lead to the very thing you don’t want: making bad decisions.

Which leads me to Step #4 you can take to make sure you don’t move too fast in a relationship and sabotage your love life:

Trust Your Gut

Maybe you’ve heard the term, “Trust your gut.” Some people also call your “gut” your intuition or God. Regardess of how you name it, if you have a feeling that something isn’t right, or if you feel as if you are moving too fast in a new relationship, you probably are.

In the early days of romance, when heightened emotion, and sometimes hormones play a part, you may be tempted to ignore that feeling that is saying, “Hey, this is too fast.”

You may get caught up in the hope of who you want a man to be for you because you want to love and be loved, so you don’t listen to your gut that something isn’t right.  

You may get swept away by the tender or romantic words a man uses or the promises he makes, all the while sensing that things are moving too fast and that you should slow down.

You may allow—or be tempted to allow—a man to move your boundaries and convince you to move faster than you really want if you lack the confidence to say no.  

GET MY FREE DOWNLOAD TO HELP YOU FIND OUT IF YOU COMMIT TOO QUICKLY.

Remember this:

“How fast” should be informed by information, not infatuation. It needs to be informed by facts, not just feelings. It needs to be informed by the truth of someone’s character, not just if you find a man handsome or desirable or if you are really drawn to him.

And you need to make those choices for yourself in confidence. You should not be swayed, pushed, or pulled by any man.

You’re worth more than that.

If there was one thing I could go back and tell my single self, it would be:

Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t doubt your worth. Don’t let your boundaries be moved. Don’t allow any emotion—positive or negative—sway you to move too quickly. Take your time.

It’s your heart we’re talking about investing here. And your heart is not to be casually invested. It’s a priceless treasure.

Guard your heart. Don’t doubt that you can make a good choice in a mate. If you think you’re moving too fast, you probably are. Let your sense that you are moving too quickly move you to courage where you tell a man, “No, not yet.”

If a man is trustworthy, marriage-minded, and he respects you and honors you, he won’t push. He will wait.

I hope this has been helpful!

Until next time,

P.S. Later this week, I’ll post a quiz for you to take where you can identify your Love Style and determine if there is anything that might be causing you to sabotage your love life without realizing it.

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