One Trait Every Man Wants in a Woman

My husband joined me to to talk about one trait that all men want in a woman. This trait makes a man feel valued and it's critical for women--single or married--to implement in their relationships.

As my husband said, this trait will, "go a long way toward [a man] returning the love to [a woman] that she craves." That sounds pretty wonderful, right? 

Here's the transcript in case you'd rather read than watch. 

Shana: This is Single Over 30

Clark: I am neither single, nor over 30.

Shana: Do you want to get in the. . . do you want to get in the camera?

Clark: I'm well, well over 30.

Shana: Okay, so today we are going to answer a question. You're going to answer a question.

Clark: I'm going to? Okay. Alright.

Shana: Can you give me one tip, because Shawn, in the Single Over 30 Facebook community asked if we would make a video with you and I. We're a little off center, because you're a little over there somewhere.

Clark: It's okay. (Laughter).

Shana: But anyway, soooo. . . we're making this video and the question for you is. . .what is one thing that a woman can do for a man to make him feel valuable?

Clark: Respect him.

Shana: Okay. That was quick.

Clark: Respect him. No, I mean, honestly, guys. . . we've had this conversation many times. Guys, I think at their core most of us are insecure. And as long as we know that. . . and we're performance oriented. We fear failing, in our relationships, in jobs, in sports, you name it. . .we don't want to fail. And so. . . when a woman encourages a guy, respects him, respects his abilities, his effort, no matter what it is and shows appreciation and respect for the guy, I think that is for most guys that is going to go a long way toward him returning love to her that she craves.

Shana: Okay, so let me ask you a question. . .if a woman. (Get in here so we can see your handsome face.) So, if a woman. . .let's say you're at the store and you're trying to solve a problem.

Clark: Am I by myself at the store?

Shana: No, you're with your girlfriend.

Clark: My girlfriend. Okay. Alright.

Shana: And you're trying to solve a problem. Let's say you're at the hardware store.

Clark: Okay, that's a good girlfriend if she goes the hardware store.

Shana: [Laughter} Okay. And you're trying to solve a problem. And you're having some challenges figuring it out and your girlfriend sees that. And without saying anything she calls over another man and says "Hey, can you help us figure this out?" Is that being disrespectful?

Clark: Yeah, if she didn't ask the guy first.

Shana: Why?

Clark: Because then she is taking the lead and she is assuming the guy is going to be too stupid to do it without help.

Shana: Which goes back to the whole thing that men are performance oriented and they want to feel like they can succeed.

Clark: Yeah. If she asks "I know you can do this yourself, honey, but should we get somebody to help us so we can find it faster?" that would be a better answer than her just basically without saying it, saying "You're too stupid, you're not going to figure this out. I'm going to get help."

Shana: I did that to you once. And then I apologized.

Clark: I don't remember.

Shana: That's why I was asking.

Clark: I probably was too stupid anyway. [Laughter]

Shana: Nooooo! No you weren't. It's just that women, we ask for directions, right? Because we are used to to having to figure things out on our own, so we'll ask for help.

Clark: Yeah, for a lot of guys, when a woman takes charge, the guy is going to feel like what she is really saying is that I don't have confidence that you can do this yourself. Or you won't do it right. Which is the failure thing.

Shana: Thank you for the help.

Clark: Sure. Shawn, that's my answer, but you're a guy, you already know this.

Alright. Thanks! Bye!

That’s it for this time. Have a great week!

Remember that the desire you have to love and be loved is possible.

Shana