"I'm just not attracted."

This week I've been thinking about my single journey and about some of the decisions I made along the way--and one of those decisions went something like this:  

Imagine there was a gathering at a church for singles. I'd walk in, look around and think, “Well, there's no one here that I'm attracted to.” And I would leave after the night was over and never go back.

Or, maybe a friend would invite me to her house for a get together. I’d walk in, look around and think, “Well, there's no one here that I'm attracted to” and I'd leave without really having any conversations or trying to get to know anyone.

I'm not saying there doesn't have to be some physical attraction, but attraction isn’t just physical. It happens on many levels. It's physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual.

But when we immediately only look at the physical and rule someone out based solely on looks or “chemistry” whether it’s in a virtual “room” like online dating or a physical room, and we say, “There’s no one here that I’m attracted to” (or we look at someone and say “I’m not attracted to you” without really knowing them) we’re really not being intentional about our dating life and taking advantage of every opportunity.

Again, I'm not saying there doesn't have to be some attraction but lots of times we don't even know what we really think about someone until we get to know them. And, many times first impressions can be wrong. 

Can you imagine what would happen if singles went to a singles’ group, walked in and thought, “There’s no one here that I’m attracted to” then walked out? It would be like a revolving door—and I think this happens all the time. Imagine if all those singles stayed and developed relationships!

So, in every situation—again—whether it's on an online dating site, at a Meetup.com group, or if you go to a friend’s house for a barbecue, be friendly, make conversation and put yourself out there. Take advantage of those seemingly inconsequential opportunities, because you just never know when something might develop with someone special. If you speak with ten couples who are very happily married, many will say that their mate was not what they expected.