[Part 2] How Fast is Too Fast? How to Create a Go-Slow Boundary
Yesterday, I posted about Tamra, one of the women I recently coached, who asked me a great question about how fast to move in a new relationship.
She said:
“I don’t know how quickly I should move from just meeting someone to dating exclusively. I always feel that I end up giving my heart away too soon and then I get hurt when the relationship ends. How do I know when to take it further with a guy? I don’t want him to think I’m not interested if I take too long to decide to date him exclusively if he’s expressing interest.”
Over the next several days, I’m going to share FOUR important steps you can take to make sure you don’t move too fast in a relationship and sabotage your love life.
Step #1: A “Go Slow Boundary” Is Your Friend
Like many women, Tamra is concerned that if she moves too slow, she’ll lose an opportunity with a good man.
I get it. I was afraid of the same thing a time or two while I was single. Maybe you can relate. And that can be emotionally tormenting, right? Especially if you feel there is an invisible “Relationship Clock” ticking reminding you that you need to move faster or miss out!
But as you know, it’s never wise, dear friend, to allow fear to control you.
It’s a better idea to set a “Go Slow Boundary” in the early stages of a relationship. It will separate out the men who genuinely care about you and the ones who don’t.
GET MY FREE DOWNLOAD TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT IF YOU COMMIT TOO QUICKLY.
Please allow me to encourage you like I encouraged Tamra:
A man who is emotionally healthy and emotionally safe, who is marriage-minded, and who thinks you are as wonderful as he says you are won’t be detoured when you say:
“I really like you and I don’t want to mess this up by going too fast. So, I would like to take time to get to know one another as friends before dating exclusively. Can we do that, and then check back later after some time has passed to see how we both feel about pursuing the relationship further?”
If a man genuinely cares for you and doesn’t just have a selfish agenda, he will want to stay on pace with you because he won’t want to lose you. Just gently encourage him and let him know you are interested.
If a man won’t accept your “Go Slow Boundary,” then he isn’t in it for the long haul and he isn’t your guy.
A man who is a man worth keeping won’t push.
This is great news!
Setting a “Go Slow Boundary” at the beginning of a relationship is a great way to spot a trustworthy, marriage-minded man.
Tomorrow, I’m going to share the 2nd of the Four Important Steps with you so you can make sure you don’t move too fast in a relationship and sabotage your love life.
(Don’t worry, this week I’ll talk about how fast is too fast.)
And tomorrow, I’m going to share how my husband responded when I set my “Go Slow Boundary” when we were just getting to know one another. I hope it will inspire you and remind you that you are worth waiting for.
Until then . . .
Remember that the dream you have to love and be loved is possible.
Your dating and relationship coach,
P.S. I invite you to stay with me this week through this email series. At the end of the week, I will share that quiz I have been talking about so you can see if you have been sabotaging your love life without realizing it.
P.S.S. If you have a friend who isn't signed up to receive emails from me, invite them to sign up below so they can get this series and avoid sabotaging their love life, too.
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