How Not to Waste Time in Your Dating Life

I often speak with many wonderful single women who tell me they don't want to waste time in their dating life.

If you can relate, I get it. 

After all, you're ready for a serious relationship that leads to commitment, so you don't want to waste time with men and in relationships that aren't going to go anywhere. That totally makes sense. 

However, I have an important question for you. . .  

Is it possible to waste time if you are adamant about not wasting time?

In this episode, I share how this can absolutely happen--and it happens all the time with the women I coach, and how it happened to me too. 

This is a definite listen if you want to purposeful in your dating and relationship life and you want to improve your opportunities to find a trustworthy, marriage-minded man. 

I hope you are encouraged by this practical episode.

Here’s a glance at this episode:

How to Not Waste Time on Dating?

[01:44]

Picture this. You meet a man, go out with him and immediately feel connected to him. You feel all kinds of chemistry and you're super interested in him. He seems interested in you too, so you become exclusive because you don't want to waste time. If you decide not to waste time or say you're never going to waste time in dating, it can cause you to become exclusive too soon when you don't know a man. And this can be a time waster.

Chemistry

[03:42]

A high level of chemistry at the beginning is not a sign or proof that a relationship is right for you. A lower level of chemistry doesn't mean that it's proof that a man couldn't be a good fit for you. Leaning on chemistry to make your romantic choices for you, without truly knowing a man and his character, means you could waste your time.

Don’t Date Exclusively Right Away

[04:59]

Use dating as an intentional step toward marriage only after you know that the person is a good fit for you. An unproductive dating pattern is one big reason many people are single for so long even though they don’t want to be. Even though all things can be redeemed and poor choices can be used for good, there is no doubt that you may waste time if you commit too quickly to date exclusively men who are not a good fit for you.

The Solution to Having a Successful Relationship

[06:26]

Couples can have successful, fast-happening relationships. However, this doesn’t happen as a rule. The rule looks more like “bad dating road rash.” Emory University researchers surveyed 3,000 couples to learn about their marriages and weddings. They found a plethora of interesting information. One of the biggest was that there was a correlation between the length of the dating period and how long the marriages lasted.

Statistics of a Successful Relationship

[07:20]

A group that dated for one to two years had about a 20% lower chance of divorcing than the couples who only dated for one year. When couples for one year and two years were compared against other couples that dated three or more years, the likelihood of divorce decreased by about 50%. Statistics also show that when you're younger, your chance of divorce increases because many people have financial issues at that age or because they are not emotionally prepared for commitment.

Why Many Relationships Fail

[08:21]

If you know someone before you begin dating them, that also has a great result in the success of your marriage. Couples who claimed to know each other very well when they get married were about 50% less likely to get divorced in the Emory study. When you begin dating quickly without knowing a person, if you don't know if you're good friends, or that a friendship foundation has not been established, it can also put all kinds of pressure on both of you as you try to make it work.

Know More About Him

[09:22]

You can spend time on the front end truly getting to know a man, or you may waste time in a dead-end dating relationship. You may end up splitting up later when you could be spending intentional time getting to know a man to find out if he or she is right for you.

Think of Dating in Stages

[11:18]

A man probably won't see your loyalty when he hasn't committed himself to you as attractive, and he's not going to perceive that as desirable. It can come across as desperate. Here’s a little food for thought: Think about dating in stages. When you treat exclusive dating as an intentional step toward marriage, you can keep your options open to date other men until you know that one of the men you're getting to know is a good fit for you, that you’re a good fit for him, and that you're interested in dating him exclusively. You'll have less chance of wasting your time when you have to “back up the relationship truck” start over and break up.

Remember that the dream you have to love—and be loved—is possible!

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